Necromancer Survival

Chapter 271

t.w : Thoughts of Suicide

 

    It was hard to tell whether Bae Jaemin had intervened or if it was a matter of coincidence.
Externally, the two had said the breakup was caused by a ‘difference in personality.’ The real reason for the breakup was hard to uncover since Seo Dawon was not the type to talk about his previous relationships or past girlfriends.

    However, Ryu Hyerin could only guess that Bae Jaemin must have said or done something to Seo Dawon’s ex-girlfriend.
She asked him about his methods, but the Priest always evaded answering her.

     Afterwards, Bae Jaemin would treat her normally–calmly as always–in the [Red Lotus] office but would often come find her to dine together near her residence.

    “Don’t come looking for me like this,” Ryu Hyerin snapped.

    “If you don’t want to, then you don’t have to accompany me.”

    Ryu Hyerin glanced at the Priest after hearing his despicable answer and sat down in front of him.

     Actually, Ryu Hyerin couldn’t really understand her actions either.
Bae Jaemin was a man she couldn’t trust; he held unpleasant motives–she knew that well.
But, when she met him, she felt strangely light, as if she had thrown off all her burdens.

    Bae Jaemin treated her like he knew her real character (better than she knew herself).
At the same time, he still liked her, despite being aware of her crazy obsession with the Mage.

     ‘He’s a real nutcase.’

    Today, as always, Bae Jaemin ordered off the menu as Ryu Hyerin desired and paid for her expensive drinks and bar snacks without complaining.
Of course, she knew he made a lot of money, but he never got angry when she snorted and interrupted his conversation constantly.

    Similarly, he never complained when she talked about Seo Dawon as if she were drunkenly angsting.
She left him no space to talk and was sarcastic to the priest…The desire to see him grow angry–at least once–grew within her as their meetings continued.
“Don’t you have any pride?”

     “What?”

     “Don’t you mind being treated like this?”

     “Not particularly?”

     Even if she brought the matter up, Bae Jaemin would only shrug and respond nonchalantly.

     Ryu Hyerin realized that insulting an opponent who wouldn’t fight back–who wouldn’t do anything–wouldn’t be effective.
Eventually, she gave up on the meaningless taunts.

     And, from then on, she began cultivating a strange friendship with the Priest.

     When she met with Bae Jaemin, she talked about things that she couldn’t bear to voice out in the public.
Bae Jaemin mostly talked about the inferiority complex he felt towards Seo Dawon and Jung Garam.
At first, Ryu Hyerin felt a bit uncomfortable, but later she sympathized with his words to some extent and responded in turn.

     Since Ryu Hyerin had never talked badly about her peers, even as a child User, Bae Jaemin’s vulgarity was both stimulating and enjoyable.

     Above all, Ryu Hyerin was plugged into the Priest’s mindset 1 since she hated Kim Olim as well.
All the people around her praised the Paladin, and now Ryu Hyerin was exhausted of praising the woman, pretending to agree with those opinions, as well.

     She often felt like she was being pushed to the side when she was with the Paladin.
Even though their relationship was supposedly equal, she felt inferior.
Like she had become the other’s maid.
“I hate pretending to be nice to her.
Honestly, Kim Olim is as weird as Bang Eunji.
Even the way she speaks…it’s not like a normal person at all.”

     “You and I are the only sane people in that guild.”

     “……”

     Of course, she felt uncomfortable to be tied in some way with Bae Jaemin–he kept saying ‘we,’ as if they were somehow similar.
However, her repulsion gradually faded.

    As she spent more time with the Priest, she began to think of the [Red Lotus] people with his mindset.
That is to say, she dealt with them kindly on the outside but despised them on the inside.
Then, when they opened up and were vulnerable to her, the joy of deceiving them pranced around in her heart.

     Though…

     “Hyerin-ie only has a few months left, huh?” Seo Dawon said.

     “……”

     “I told [Opera] I wanted to extend the lease, but they immediately refused.
I heard that they emptied the deputy guildmaster position for you once you return.”

     “Really? Haha…they said nothing of the sort to me…”

     No matter how much she cursed at and disgraced Seo Dawon behind his back, she couldn’t remember any of her dislike and insults as soon as she was in his presence.
It was as if her distaste and curses that she spouted, the day before, were a lie.

     Furthermore, he had not dated anyone else since he had broken up with his previous girlfriend.
Of course, he had no time to meet anyone because of their guild’s sudden explosive activity, but, whenever she saw his empty left ring finger, lingering feelings formed in her heart.

     After she collapsed that fateful day in the dungeon, he treated her a little nicer.
Every day, when he saw her face, he asked her how she felt.
He was ignorant to the fact that she drank a lot while only nibbling at her lunch during her hangout with Bae Jaemin the previous day; the Mage was concerned, asking if she was sick.

     And, the other day, he gave her a necklace he personally bought.
The item supposedly alleviated insomnia; apparently, it was easier to fall asleep if you laid down while wearing the accessory.

     However, the necklace didn’t work on her.
She tossed and turned all night, consumed by the thought that the Mage had bought this for her.

     ‘…Does he really have no feelings for me? Would he really do this for a friend?’

     “You’ll do well even if you leave.
If you’re having any difficulties, contact me,” Seo Dawon said.

     Ryu Hyerin gradually swelled when she saw the Mage’s expression; it seemed like he was really regretful that they would be parting.
She wondered if Seo Dawon wanted to say something else to her–why else would he call her out separately like this?

     “I…I like oppa,” she said.

     “…What?”

     “I’ve liked you from the start.
Always…” Eventually, she couldn’t stop herself from confessing to the Mage.

      However…the moment she saw Seo Dawon’s expression, her hope shattered.
His expression differed completely from the Mage’s expression in her fantasies when she used to secretly imagine what it’d be like to confess.
He only seemed surprised and perhaps a little perplexed.

     She had mistaken everything.

     It seemed that her confession didn’t flutter his heart and was simply an embarrassing headache for him.

     “I see.
I had no idea.”

     “……”

” ”

    Seo Dawon glanced at her, contemplating how he should refuse her.
Ryu Hyerin could read the atmosphere before he even outright rejected her.
She wanted to block his mouth to stop him from talking any further.

     However, she had to endure this humiliation without raising her hand.

     “…This is an important time for the guild, so I’ll have to focus on my work,” he said.

     “……”

    “Still, thanks for telling me.
I’m sorry.” Seo Dawon looked worryingly at Ryu Hyerin, whose complexion paled.
However, he eventually turned around without doing anything.
Ryu Hyerin stood there for a while, even after he completely disappeared, shedding tears.

 

* * *

 

     After that day, Ryu Hyerin avoided the Mage.
Seo Dawon also seemed to take care not to bump into her unless it was essential.

     Though she didn’t tell Bae Jaemin about this matter, he visited her exactly one week later.
She tried to ignore him, but the Priest knocked on her front door for at least 30 minutes; eventually, opening her door only as much as her chain latch would allow, he asked, “Why did you confess?”

     “…Piss off.”

     “What did I say? I told you he was simply playing around with you.”

     Ryu Hyerin tried to close the front door–she wanted to hear none of this, but Bae Jaemin was faster.
He slipped his hand through the gap.
He grabbed the pendant of her necklace, which hung over her pajamas, with great force.
The very same necklace that Seo Dawon had given her.

     “By the way, you’re still wearing this.
Do you still have lingering feelings?”

     “Let go.
Do you really want to die?”

     “I bet it’s Seo Dawon who’s courting death.”

     When Ryu Hyering heard that, the strength in her hands loosened.

     Did she want to kill Seo Dawon? That’s wrong.
She was the one that wanted to die.

     That day, when she grieved after being rejected by the Mage, she resolved to take her own life at the end of her lease period in about a week.

     ‘I’ll show them–I’ll jump off of the [Red Lotus] building.
I hope he suffers for the rest of his life after looking at my body.’ She was still suffering from that delusion–that desire to have Seo Dawon feel her pain.
She smiled shadily and responded, “No? I just want to stab you to death.”

     “Or, were you thinking of killing yourself?” Bae Jaemin, once again, aimed directly at what’s in her heart.
Ryu Hyerin flinched and shook her hand; he tore the latch off her door by force.

     He strode inside and closed the door behind him; Ryu Hyerin could not prevent the door from closing since the Priest blocked her way.
Once it slammed shut, she was left alone with the man.

     Bae Jaemin dragged Ryu Hyerin into his embrace as soon as the door finished closing.
She summoned a skill into her hand to really kill him, but the Priest slowly knelt down while hugging her.
She really thought about lowering her hand and murdering him, but the Priest had such an unusual aura about him.

     In the end, instead of attacking, she grabbed the Priest’s fluttering hair in one hand and roughly tilted back his head.
“What a foolish thing to say.”

    His face, when she pulled back his head, was wet with tears–a complete mess.
Ryu Hyerin faltered in that moment.
Bae Jaemin didn’t seem to care about her murderous attitude and rambled, “You…You have no idea I can use [Clairvoyance], right?”

     “What?”

” ”

     “This skill… The User won’t be able to see their own fate, but… But they can see the destinies of other people.” Bae Jaemin, who began muttering about something incomprehensible, began laughing like a hysterical person.

     After his outburst of seizure-like laughter, he suddenly stopped and lowered his head back into her embrace.
Then, voice subdued as if he were swallowing back shrieks, he asked, “You thought about jumping off the [Red Lotus] building.
Yes?”

     “……” Ryu Hyerin took a deep breath.

     However, Bae Jaemin didn’t stop there.
“Should I tell you how Seo Dawon’s life will go after you die?”

    “……”

     “He’ll live fucking well.”

     “What…?”

     “He’ll live well, as if nothing happened.” Bae Jaemin spoke confidently, as if he actually saw the future.
“You think he’ll regret his choice, right? No.
Seo Dawon will continue to raid the dungeons as if nothing happened… He’ll break through scenarios; he’ll meet someone he loves–someone that isn’t you–and live well.
That’s what his destiny is.
He won’t fail.
He’ll get everything he wants and rise to the heights of glory.
It’s the same no matter how many times I look.
Nothing changes.”

     “Wh…What….”

    “You don’t know.
Seo Dawon doesn’t know either.
That’s right…Haah… Only I know….
Hahaha!”

 

 

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TL: I guess Seo Dawon really did treat her nicely but nothing more.
He did seem taken aback at her confession.
And he tried to let her down nicely too! Actually, it kind of reminds me of some rejections I’ve given and received.

And Bae Jaemin’s [Clairvoyance]! There’s so much more to learn about it!

Also, I feel super bad for Kim Olim…she really did seem personally invested in Ryu Hyerin as a friend…and Ryu Hyerin just always hated her…

Footnotes

코드가 맞았다.
The (electrical) cord ‘matches,’ is the original.
Aka she can plug into his opinion.